The past two weeks I had two clients “break” their contract and cancel their work earlier than what they committed to.
Of course, I can never force anyone to work with me and I know that; neither can you.
Now, here is the interesting thing about all this. I give people a “heads up” when I first start working with them because I know that there is the potential for that to happen; it’s why I ask for a contract and payment ahead of time to help my clients get through the “I’ve hit the wall and want to quit because I am afraid factor”.
Contracts and money are forms of commitment that we make to ourselves just like committing to keeping our own word.
Business coaching is the same as sports coaching. With the help of a coach the athlete will exceed their expectations and perform far beyond what they think is possible. It’s part of the job of coaching to hold a client’s/student’s feet to the fire, sometimes I have to do this too.
Here’s a story to illustrate my point
Two years ago I had a new client who wanted to write a book. As it is the same with everyone, I asked her for prepayment and told her why. I told her that as part of the process of reaching her goal, she probably would start having “good excuses” for not writing or showing up to our appointments and that despite the excitement or the best intentions she had at the onset of signing up, she would hit that place where she would feel like quitting.
As “predicted” after about 4 months, all kinds of stuff started “standing in the way of her showing up”. The writing schedule disappeared and appointments were rescheduled or cancelled.
I “knew” that fear had reared its ugly head and I also knew that I had to say something about it, which is not my favorite part. Despite the fact that I had talked about this possibility upfront, I still never like the feeling of “cracking down the whip”, despite the fact that “I know” that this is not what I am doing really, that my intention is to help bring consciousness into what is an unconscious reaction.
So, I went ahead and communicated my awareness to my client, and then I invited her to get back in the saddle. She took me up on the challenge and began writing regularly. Six months later, the first draft of her book was finished and now 1.5 years later, she is looking for a publisher!
This demonstrates the power of commitment and living up to the words we speak!
A big component of the coaching relationship is to pay someone to help us stay accountable to the words we speak, especially when the going gets tough and I promise you, that if you are doing something really near and dear to your heart, it will happen, it is a given!
Because, when we enter the “realm of the soul, the “wounded ego” gets activated!
The “wounded ego” is the part of us that is committed to surviving, not thriving. It is that part of us that wants to keep “status quo”, that does not want to “rock the boat”.
It will fight you like crazy. It will make all kinds of excuses for you to not show up in your brilliance, it will make you sick, remind you that you don’t have what it takes to make this happen, disrupt your life, your relationships, make you believe that you are going broke or near bankruptcy, that you don’t have enough of ________ (fill in the blanks) and you will believe every bit of it and want to quit.
I have been there and probably will be there as long as I breathe and commit to filling in the large shoes that my soul guides me to fill in.
Commitment is an ally that works, not an enemy, your words matter!.
When you sign a contract, you sign a contract with yourself. If you break that contract, you break the contract with yourself. NO feeling bad about it or guilty. It is simply a matter of asking yourself, what are you committing to?
Fear? Growth? Soul Evolution? Not for the faint of heart.
You may step back many times before you take the leap to then simply realize that there was nothing to fear. Building a heart centered business will challenge you to the core and yes your wounded ego will make you believe that you don’t have what it takes, courage, finances, vision, support, what it takes etc.
Which voice do you want to listen to?
Exercise: “Wounded Ego dialogue”